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tasty privilege

April 14, 2011

So did you know that vanilla, as in not kinky is now a privilege?

See.

The Vanilla Privilege check list includes such gems as:

  • Vanilla people will never have their sexual practices used for shock value.
  • A vanilla person will not have to worry much about their roommate discovering their vanilla-ness.

And my personal fave:

  • Symbols of vanilla affection/romance will not be appropriated as “edgy” fashion statements (E.G. collars)

.

.

I am very pleased to see that vanilla is now a privilege, because it opens the door for all sorts of new, wacky privileges that feminism needs to acknowledge.

Like …  Star Wars privilege! Did you know that if you’ve seen all the Star Wars movies that you have privilege? And every time you make Star Wars references you are oppressing me, because I haven’t seen Star Wars and the references go over my head. This is very marginalizing and it hurts my feelings.

Also if you live in the northern hemisphere you have privilege. All christmas songs reflect the winter xmas you experience, but completely ignore the summer xmas we southerners experience. Do you know what it’s like to have our lived experiences erased like that? Year after year, carol after carol celebrating the idea of a snowy cold christmas, even though it’s so hot outside the asphalt is melting? OF COURSE YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE. That’s part of your privilege. Denying it only makes it worse.

.

.

This privilege business was covered a while ago already. If anyone was not convinced then, surely they must be convinced now that “privilege” has outlived its usefulness as a feminist term.

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50 Comments leave one →
  1. April 14, 2011 7:53 am

    I really could do with a bowl of oppression vanilla icecream after making that first graphic.

  2. FAB Libber permalink
    April 14, 2011 8:11 am

    Brilliant, and hilarious!
    Exactly right, you can make these stupid privilege lists out of anything.

    I am awaiting the Paraplegic Privilege List, whereby they actively oppress the able-bodied because they get to ride around on wheels all day, and the ABs have to use their legs!

  3. FAB Libber permalink
    April 14, 2011 9:38 am

    I got around to reading the Vanilla Privilege List. I think we have just discovered a new category to stand alongside MANsplaining and TRANSplaining – that of PERVsplaining.

    As usual, the list was full of contradictions. From mwah-mwah-mwah, vanilla people can find pictures of their sexuality in the meeja … to … oh noes, when the meeja depict non-vanilla, they get it wrong/make fun of it. So which is it? Does non-vanilla appear in the meeja or not?

  4. April 14, 2011 10:16 am

    The list is really ridiculous. this one made me laugh:

    Vanilla people will never have their sexual practices used for shock value.

    Sex in general is used for shock value. ALL THE TIME. Has this person never watched MTV? Or any TV at all for that matter?

    Basically I read through the list, and all I took away from it was IM A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE.

  5. April 14, 2011 10:30 am

    OMG. hilarious! and, disturbing. perv-spaining is right. i had to stop when i read this though, so i never made it to the end:

    There is accurate medical research on the effects of vanilla sex upon the human body, kinky people are left with scraps here and there and anecdotal evidence. We still don’t know if it’s safe to flog breasts.

    oh yes! vanilla men KNOW the harms of PIV (they just dont care; they do it anyway) while pervy men claim not to know the harms of flogging breasts (and they dont care; they do it anyway, PLUS they have PIV too!)

    i am sorry, but where is the privilege here for vanilla women again? fine by me if self-identified feminist and/or pervy MEN want to call each other out on all their privileges all day, but leave women out it. it DOES. NOT. APPLY. even when its made up fantastical bullshit, all they can do is evaluate MENS experience/fantastical bullshit and call it “reality.” morons.

  6. April 14, 2011 10:31 am

    omg. typos!

  7. FAB Libber permalink
    April 14, 2011 10:34 am

    That should be “I am a special kinky snowflake”

    Because after all, these people cannot say/write a single sentence that does not include a reference to their kinkiness. Like we are interested in their sex lives or something?

    I just read the “About” of Peacock Angel, which contains (among other things):
    I’m an kinky atheist feminist submissive dyke… and a professional dominatrix.

    Contradiction: Check (submissive and dominatrix)

    Now, as PA proudly has reference to “cock” (in peacock), plus the “angel” reference (which is always used in a female sense in this context), I will conclude that PA is actually tranz, M2T, claiming to be a dyke (but hey, still being very Serano by referencing his cock). Now as not many women engage as the clients of ‘sex work’ (mainly because they also don’t have much free cash, but paying for sex is never necessary), I can only gather that the clients of PA are male, which again contradicts the “dyke” claim. Any actual dykes that work as prostituted women do not proudly declare their ‘professional’ status, it is just something they HAVE to do to survive.

    Yet more Contradiction: Check, Check, and more Check.

  8. FAB Libber permalink
    April 14, 2011 10:37 am

    I forgot to add, PA will not be a F2T, because:
    F2Ts strongly identify as man/male and reject female
    F2Ts strongly reject identifying as dykes (lesphobic)

    PA = M2T

  9. April 14, 2011 11:05 am

    @fablibber

    Yeah I briefly glanced at the blog and there was a post about how the author doesnt like being misgendered. So yep. I also reckon he is a transMALE (note, not transman)

  10. April 14, 2011 11:13 am

    oh yes! vanilla men KNOW the harms of PIV (they just dont care; they do it anyway) while pervy men claim not to know the harms of flogging breasts (and they dont care; they do it anyway, PLUS they have PIV too!)

    That’s exactly right. Even if the medical establishment came out with a definitive answer that Yes, Flogging Breasts is Dangerous (oh, as if we dont know that already), that wouldnt stop men from doing it anyway. In fact the more dangerous it is, the more thrilling it would be for men, I reckon.

    And kinky people do know that BDSM isnt safe anyway. They changed the kink motto from SSC (Safe Sane Consensual) to RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) in order to acknowledge that there’s no such thing as “safe bdsm” in the first place.

  11. April 14, 2011 11:24 am

    they dont do the safe/sane/consensual anymore? i hadnt heard that. that speaks volumes doesnt it?

  12. April 14, 2011 11:43 am

    It is pretty telling that they ditched SSC. Not that RACK is any less stupid. Hey, it’s a magical mystical acronym that distinguishes bdsmers from any old sadistic man that may grab a woman, tie her up and hurt/fuck her. Behold the power of acronyms!

  13. FAB Libber permalink
    April 14, 2011 11:59 am

    Thanks for the heads-up on SSC biting the dust. It could also have gone out of favour because radfems used to refer to it as UNsafe, INsane, and NONconsensual.

    How terribly elitist of them to differentiate between any old sadistic man grabbing a woman, and those that take their sadism seriously and professionally! Such ethics!

    RACK also has that added layer of kink too (which would be why the luv it), in referencing torture racks. *nice* Such a charming bunch of people. I use the term people rather loosely.

  14. April 14, 2011 2:33 pm

    I just kinda want this list to go all Inception on itself. Like single out specific kinks that have more privilege than others. Or maybe I just want a Furry-Privilege checklist ’cause that would be hilarious. 😛

    Are you sure this list didn’t come from the Onion? Or other humor site? Because it’s honestly quite funny. ” Stop oppressing me with your missionary position! That’s so OFFENSIVE! D: “

  15. April 14, 2011 4:19 pm

    This post perfectly highlights the absurdity of “privilege” used completely out of context.

    An example of this: I am involved in a brand new feminist book club, and it was suggested that “male feminists” be able to join. I suggested no, and was told this:

    “By excluding male feminists, we’re creating “the other” which is a main concept in feminism–women, people of color, GLBT, people of lower SES, etc. being “the other.” I think we need to use care to not mold ourselves into a group of only white, privileged women. All should be welcome, all the time time. I have a BA in Women’s studies and there was a male feminist in my graduating class. My WS program was a tight knit community and having him there was a positive experience for everyone.”

    I find it ridiculous that *I* am the one oppressing by requesting female-only space. We’re not even talking about trans people. I’m oppressing men in general by wanting a space for women. Is this what WS programs are teaching their students?!

  16. yttik permalink
    April 14, 2011 7:14 pm

    That is so ridiculous! I guess if we want to follow down this crazy privilege path, we could say all you non serial killers lord your privilege over the poor oppressed murderers who have to deal with the threat of law enforcement all the time. I mean seriously, where does this privilege thing end?

  17. April 14, 2011 7:25 pm

    lol UP’s gonna love this.

  18. thebewilderness permalink
    April 14, 2011 8:00 pm

    http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/jamie-olivers-beaver-bit/17usqusvz?q=Food+Revolution&rel=msn&from=en-us_msnhp&form=MSNRLL&gt1=42010

    Vanilla ice cream contains beaver anal gland.
    Now that is some serious privilege right there.

  19. Loup-loup garou permalink
    April 14, 2011 8:57 pm

    Peahen Devil says, the hell “vanilla” isn’t used as a pejorative. In fact, it was coined as one, because sadomasochists needed a derisive term for people who don’t get off on pain and/or humiliation. It’s the sexual equivalent of “cis.”

  20. Laur permalink
    April 15, 2011 1:06 am

    what’s next–non pedophile privilage?

  21. thebewilderness permalink
    April 15, 2011 1:30 am

    There is an underlying WTF in this posturing.
    If you are an abuser the highest priority is to keep the secret. Isolate the victim so that they are entirely dependent upon you for everything. Terrify the victim into complicity in secret keeping.

    This goes for alcohol and drug abuse as well as spouse and child abuse.

    What is particularly significant, I think, is that the abuser see their behavior as necessary. It only needs be kept secret because others wouldn’t understand.

    Claiming that anyone who doesn’t have to worry every moment that people will find out they are being abused or that they are an abuser is a privilege is an indication of how very far their capacity for rational thought has deteriorated.

  22. April 15, 2011 2:13 am

    the abuser see their behavior as necessary. It only needs be kept secret because others wouldn’t understand

    YES. this is their delusion isnt it? they and the service they provide are just so unfairly misunderstood.

  23. thebewilderness permalink
    April 15, 2011 4:19 am

    It occurs to me that trans activists, bdsmers, and their doctors may have made a mistake when they dismissed the term transsexual in favor of transgender. It would sell better if they divided people up by genre. The root is the same but it would better describe people who define themselves by their performance. Then no one would be surprised when the head bangers hated on the classicals and everyone hated on the peeps who don’t define themselves based on their performance.

    I am so off topic here. Sorry. It’s late and I have no other excuse for a weary wandering mind.

  24. April 15, 2011 4:37 am

    @laur

    what’s next–non pedophile privilage?

    They do already suggest there is such thing, dont they? Similar to what TBW is talking about, pedos claim that they are misunderstood by society, and that people who want to fuck adults are lucky because they can do so without being judged and whatnot. They probably dont call it “privilege”, but it is EXACTLY the same thing as this vanilla privilege business.

  25. April 15, 2011 4:44 am

    I just kinda want this list to go all Inception on itself. Like single out specific kinks that have more privilege than others. Or maybe I just want a Furry-Privilege checklist ’cause that would be hilarious. 😛

    YES. Furry Privilege! I was giggling last night over “vanilla privilege” and my roommate is like “what’s so funny”. I explained, and then we made a comparison to “furry privilege” and started making up stuff that would appear on the furry privilege checklist. Good times.

  26. April 15, 2011 10:53 am

    @ dasunrisin

    “By excluding male feminists, we’re creating “the other” which is a main concept in feminism–women, people of color, GLBT, people of lower SES, etc. being “the other.” I think we need to use care to not mold ourselves into a group of only white, privileged women. All should be welcome, all the time time. I have a BA in Women’s studies and there was a male feminist in my graduating class. My WS program was a tight knit community and having him there was a positive experience for everyone.”

    heres where i get to practice NOT imagining that women who say stuff like this are stupid! HA! i got your email about this, but i dont usually respond to emails from people i dont know, so i am glad you left it here too.

    you know, i think that women (especially feminists) are just very in tune to issues of equality, and they want things to be FAIR. unfortunately, and this is what they seem unwilling to confront head-on, WE ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT CARE ABOUT IT. men dont care about fairness or justice or equality, at all. if they did, or if they respected women and feminism the would not make an issue of THEMSELVES by even TRYING to join our groups. they would simply either STFU, or form their own mens groups. by even showing up and making us CONSIDER THE QUESTION, they are taking the focus off of femininsm and womens issues, and putting it on THEMSELVES. the very act is misogynist and disrepectful and privileged.

    but even as a basic feminism 101, you could consider telling your groupmembers that excluding men does NOT make men “the other.” men are not the other, men are the default humans which is what makes EXTRA, IN ADDITION TO, and MOAR pandering to thier needs completely unneccessary. mens collective and individual needs are well-taken care of, every minute of every day. male institutions (like law and medicine) make sure mens collective interests are always represented, and most men have thier individual needs taken care of by some woman, who is no doubt completely invested in what she is doing. he is in good hands, at all times, being cared for by those who ONLY want whats best for HIM, and people LIKE HIM, ALWAYS.

    these jackasses are hijacking your feminist group, and the feminists are letting them. these women probably arent stupid, so they must think they have something to gain from including men, or something to lose by excluding men. figure out what it is, and address it head-on, is all i can say. my guess is they are afraid of being labeled man-haters, because they are straight and want to be partnered with men. welp…there is a fundamental disconnect right there. partnering with men CANNOT be your agenda. your only committment has to be to the TRUTH, and to WOMEN, probably in that order.

  27. April 15, 2011 11:01 am

    also, miska, the vanilla ice and star wars references are cracking me up. pop culture baby! thats all fun-feminism is anyway. its like fried spam on white bread, on a TV tray next to a lava lamp watching re-reuns of friends. you know, or something! constipated, overprocessed, and boring.

  28. FAB Libber permalink
    April 15, 2011 12:55 pm

    Dudes trying to barge into FAB-only spaces are not in the least interested in ‘equality’ (or fairness or anything else). They are sexual predators, and infiltrating FAB spaces is one of the biggest boner inducers ever. Just see Gallus Mag’s Bathroom Perv post, all just in the space of a week.

    And don’t forget that many of these dudes have lesbian fetishes (even though real lesbians aren’t the least bit interested in dudes).

    It really creeps me out to think I would be sitting beside some dude with a boner, getting off in a little private porn film in his head. Which is most males actually, but sitting around in a room with them, trying to discuss women’s liberation? ewwwww (and that scenario would also give more boners to these creeps, because they get off on deception)

  29. April 15, 2011 1:16 pm

    Actually let me clarify regarding men, and their relationship to fairness, or justice: they DO care about it, very much. They are AGAINST it. Their entire way of being in the world, their successes and accomplishments, their wealth, their identities, their credibility, their futures, and pasts and presents too, are all completely dependent on the systemic and relational subjugation of women, for men’s benefit.

    We have to be clear about this, about where their interests lie. They have a credibility problem, and a fundamental and irreconcilable conflict of interest.

  30. April 15, 2011 4:16 pm

    Further FCM… Men are all about hierarchy, all the time. Men create and maintain pecking orders amongst themselves in every collection of men they find themselves in. They do it inexorably and with relative fluidity (not without fighting of course, but it all flows in one direction). It’s how they orient to the world. And each and every one of them sees every single thing in life through that lens.

  31. Feuerwerferin permalink
    April 15, 2011 5:12 pm

    “A vanilla person will not have their masculinity/femininity called into question because of their dominance/submission in bed (I.E. A woman who enjoys being sexually dominant may be called unfeminine, or a man who enjoys being sexually submissive may be called unmasculine)”

    They should make gender conformity and anti-feminism a human rights issue. Oh, they already have…

  32. Kelsey B. permalink
    April 15, 2011 7:08 pm

    I am so glad that someone addressed this. I read a similar treatise on “vanilla privilege” a few days ago and all I could do was pound my cranium and make neanderthal noises.

  33. SheilaG permalink
    April 15, 2011 10:06 pm

    LOL — Star Wars priviledge!!! Never saw any of those movies, hate sci fi… so I’ve been SO oppressed and never even knew it LOL LOL But vanilla…. hey a vanilla lesbian kiss in a TV show had shock value in 1967… hey even 1986…. now it’s true vanilla LOL LOL Best scum-0-rama yet… made my weekend!!! MADE IT YOU SO MADE IT… tr la la

  34. SheilaG permalink
    April 15, 2011 10:08 pm

    Lesbian kiss on TBN — well so NOT vanilla in 2011…. lesbian kiss on Allah Akbar St. in Riyad… ice cream melts in desert kingdoms.

  35. SheilaG permalink
    April 15, 2011 10:09 pm

    Rumor— Baskin Robbins is getting rid of French Vanilla as one of its flavors… that’s how bad it’s gotten. But is a french kiss still vanilla? (That’s about as risque as old Victorian stuffed shirt Sheila is going to get around here) 🙂

  36. April 15, 2011 10:18 pm

    Sheila you tart!

  37. April 15, 2011 10:18 pm

    Utterly scandalous.

  38. April 16, 2011 2:59 am

    also, miska, the vanilla ice and star wars references are cracking me up. pop culture baby! thats all fun-feminism is anyway. its like fried spam on white bread, on a TV tray next to a lava lamp watching re-reuns of friends. you know, or something! constipated, overprocessed, and boring.

    Haha. Thanks. See, I really like how vanilla ice has such a serious expression. It really conveys just how serious Vanilla privilege is

  39. April 16, 2011 11:52 am

    I really like how vanilla ice has such a serious expression. It really conveys just how serious Vanilla privilege is

    HA! yes it does.

  40. FAB Libber permalink
    April 16, 2011 1:11 pm

    As a sign of my age, I did have to stop and think about the dude in the Vanilla line up. Then I realised “it’s that Vanilla ??? rapper dude, oh yeah”.

    I am easing myself into “sonny” and “deary” mode. 😛

  41. Feuerwerferin permalink
    April 16, 2011 3:37 pm

    “Vanilla is not taken to mean sexually available.”

    Where the hell do they live? I’d consider moving. Men just molest women when they want to.

    And at the end: “A vanilla person can remain ignorant of terms involved in BDSM.”

    OH — MY — GODDESS! How many icky books am I supposed to read so that they feel at ease? Imagine the implications…
    And: Exhibitionist much? I once talked about feminism to a submissive who also enjoyed exhibitionism (burleque) and another one said she wanted to produce porn (also exhibitionist). There is probably a connection.

  42. thebewilderness permalink
    April 16, 2011 8:45 pm

    “And at the end: “A vanilla person can remain ignorant of terms involved in BDSM.”

    Criminy! It really doesn’t get much more privileged that that, now does it?
    Clearly there are millions of hyperprivileged people all over the world who enjoy the blessings of their ignorance of BDSM, to say nothing of the added blessing of being ignorant of the terms involved. Like dominance and submission for example. I’m sure that women all over the world being raped in the missionary position are enjoying the privilege of being ignorant of what those words mean.

  43. April 18, 2011 8:48 pm

    FCM and others, thanks for your response. I agree that women are trying to be as fair as possible, and that we are socialized to take care of others’ needs first. I certainly think that this contributes to the thinking in my book club. I also am not clear on why the feminist in question conflates people of color and people from a lower SES with men! There’s a clear difference, and that is *who has the power*. Those with the power are not the other.

    I’ve got a lot of thinking to do on this. Thank you for your thoughts.

    FABLibber– What a creepy thought! I really don’t think I can continue to attend this group if men end up being invited.

    NoAdonyne- Hierarchy indeed! By bringing men in, the whole group dynamic is thrown off.

  44. June 7, 2011 11:55 pm

    Can I just tell you that I love your blog? Not only is your commentary spot-on but your diagrams are hilarious.

    I found the “vanilla privilege” checklist a while back and I didn’t know whether to laugh or hang my head in despair. I don’t enjoy being tied up and flogged! What a PRIVILEGE!

  45. July 23, 2011 9:36 pm

    Haha, I actually laughed out loud twice: first at the vanilla graphic and then at the Star Wars privilege. Love this blog!

  46. Mary Sunshine permalink
    April 18, 2012 2:29 pm

    I am at the very bottom of the Star Wars heap! I was born hating Star Wars and destined to hate it for the rest of my natural life, which has been hell as a result.

Trackbacks

  1. why vanilla isnt a “privilege” for women (and why recycling is good for the rad-o-sphere) « scum-o-rama!
  2. Links: April 18, 2011 « Against All Evidence
  3. On 50 Shades of Grey and the Erotization of Male Domination | Radfem Hub
  4. On 50 Shades of Grey and the Erotization of Male Domination « Liberation Collective

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