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some dood used my work computer to browse wrestling porn.

April 19, 2011

and i know who it was.  he has no idea, of course, that this is what i now see when i look at him:

but it is.  this is exactly what i see.  its what i see when i think about him.  its what i see when i see him.  its in the background as i contemplate whether theres anything i can do to hasten the end of his career.  its what i see when i consider that this could end very badly for me, while he doesnt suffer at all. 

he has made us both a target, but the only one that knows any of this just yet…is me.

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32 Comments
  1. April 19, 2011 6:02 am

    Sorry you have to deal with this kind of shit, FCM. My first thought was “make a complaint about the douchebag”. But I know nothing about your workplace, and this kind of stuff does have a way of ending badly for women. does your workplace monitor employee webtraffic? If so I would be very concerned that you may end up blamed for browsing porn.

  2. FAB Libber permalink
    April 19, 2011 9:13 am

    A good 95%+ of the male population appear like this to me, because I know how they think.

    Wrestling porn, good fucking grief. A new one to me. But hell, if they can find a sheep sexy, then everything is a potential boner inducer. I’ll stand behind the 95%+.

  3. April 19, 2011 10:54 am

    yes his keyword searches revealed alot. he would start with a woman wrestlers name (i knew he was into wrestling before and when i saw this, i googled the names…and they were all female wrestlers) and add “implants”. then “nude”. then “porn”. then he searched “amy fisher porn.” then “buy deep inside amy fisher video”. then “debbie does dallas”. then he was googling peoples names i didnt recognize, and asking google to reveal whether these people were “swingers”. did i mention that this man is a PROFESSIONAL? i am not in fucking college anymore, and this is not some two-bit office gig. its a real job. im just saying. talking about this makes it sound like its some fucking kid who came into my cubicle to jerk off, but neither one of us are kids. most people would probably blow it off, but i cannot tell you how absolutely infuriated (with rage!) i am. this is not a small thing. and its NOT OVER.

    this is sexual harassment ON ITS FACE. he should be terminated immediately, but i am sure he wont be. and YES i did report it immediately. the same things were found on HIS computer, so they know its all true, and its all him. although “why” they felt the need to verify it in this way is a provocative question isnt it? and NO, i hadnt considered that *i* would be suspected of viewing porn on my computer, until miska mentioned it…but this is in fact a concern isnt it? the IRONY of course is that i could never use my blog to prove to them that i am in fact very much against porn and would NEVER look at it…number one, because its ANONYMOUS! and number two…well every other fucking word on my blog is either “sex” or “porn” or “vagina”. they would actually have to READ and ENGAGE with the material, to figure out what it really was. and then, even assuming they DID understand it, i would immediately lose my credibility due to my “rampant misandry.”

    mackinnon wrote about what “reality” is for women, and sexual harassment at work was a huge part of that reality. HUGE. in federal workplaces (in the US) sexual harassment occured more often than it didnt. that is STUNNING, but not surprising. not for any of us who have ever had a job, anywhere, ever. women cannot put down roots in any profession, in any environment, because they are always harassed and objectified. it causes us to have less job satisfaction, and NO economic security, as we are constantly looking for a better environment (there isnt one) and losing seniority and respect (and money) with every move. men have NO IDEA what its like to experience this, and yet THEIR success in the workplace is very much tied to this, to womens transience, low pay and lack of and loss of seniority, caused by being deliberately objectified and continuously sexually harassed and threatened, BY THEM.

    see my “moron reality” post for more on that.

  4. April 19, 2011 12:16 pm

    Yes, excellent point. Men (even the ones who DONT harass) are benefiting from this shit at expense of women. And its tangible, economic benefits.

    did i mention that this man is a PROFESSIONAL? i am not in fucking college anymore, and this is not some two-bit office gig. its a real job. im just saying. talking about this makes it sound like its some fucking kid who came into my cubicle to jerk off, but neither one of us are kids.

    That’s the thing that always struck me about men who drag their pornsickness into the office. I remember the first time I came across this type of stuff. It was my first “real job” and there was an ugly old man there who had plastered up all these bikini pics of Jessica Alba etc all over his cubicle, REALLY porny in style. I remember when I was being shown around the office and I was introduced to him, and my reaction to his cubicle display was WTF? This is an office. People are here to work. The thing is, my colleagues and I frequently had to go over to his cubicle all day long to liaise about work, and all the women HATED having to go over and talk to him because of those pics. All they did was create a hostile environment for women.

    I hope your workplace resolves this situation in your favor, FCM.

    I actually had to make a complaint about a male colleague last year, and I basically resigned myself to the fact that I might be the one out of a job at the end of it. That’s always the risk we take as women, when we speak up.

  5. FAB Libber permalink
    April 19, 2011 12:33 pm

    and NO, i hadnt considered that *i* would be suspected of viewing porn on my computer, until miska mentioned it…but this is in fact a concern isnt it?

    My brain didn’t go there either! It’s that ‘menz and women are equal’ thing coming back to bite us. They assume that there are as many pornsick pervy women out there as menz. Good gawd no, menz are the pornsick perv kings.

    and yet THEIR success in the workplace is very much tied to this, to womens transience, low pay and lack of and loss of seniority, caused by being deliberately objectified and continuously sexually harassed and threatened, BY THEM.

    Absolutely. Just look at the volume of talentless deadwood males inhabiting the workplace, particularly in senior positions. Most of the females are ghettoised into the lower ranks. Much more of a transient workforce as you say. Little job security for females, anywhere.

  6. April 19, 2011 12:46 pm

    I should’ve said that I’m not in college anymore, AND I don’t work in a fucking cubicle! Not this week anyway. 😛

    I say this to the young uns reading this: professionalism, education, student loans etc will not take you out of the system. We are all stuck within the concentric circles of sexualized oppression Dworkin graphed in rww (and that I scanned in here at scum o rama a few weeks ago). None of this is a cure. It’s tempting to believe that there’s an empowering aspect to education and the career track etc, but there’s really not. The big thing is that you NEVER become financially dependant on a man, for any reason. But men are your bosses and colleagues, not just sexual partners, and you are dependant on them, if you get out here alone strapped with debt, needing a job. That’s the part I apparently missed when I was planning all of this out. I thought I was doing the smart thing, but the result is just a variation on the same theme.

    Again, I now believe that if me, my sister and our best childhood friend had teamed up early on and decided to have a go of it, of taking care of each other and committing to do so always, that would’ve been so much smarter. We essentially blew it, and with compound interest (and seniority) working like they do, it might be to late to properly cure it. And thats IF I could get them on board! Right now, they aren’t. My mom and I see what we’ve done, and are exploring a better way for the two of us…but in the meantime we’ve wasted decades. It’s so painful to realize, but its true.

  7. FAB Libber permalink
    April 19, 2011 1:30 pm

    FCM, your two comments above are important enough to be recycled into their own post.

  8. April 19, 2011 1:59 pm

    Yes fab, I am ARTICULATE with rage!!!

  9. Sargassosea permalink
    April 19, 2011 4:24 pm

    Rock on, Fact!

    I do my best work while seething with righteous rage 🙂

  10. yttik permalink
    April 19, 2011 10:45 pm

    Great post, great comments.

    “..mackinnon wrote about what “reality” is for women, and sexual harassment at work was a huge part of that reality. HUGE..”

    Absolutely. As proof of how prevalent it is, the first thing I used to do at work is delete the temp files, because porn is sexual harassment and I had no power to stop it. To make matters even more twisted, I was actually grateful they’re now obsessed with the computer and staying put in their offices. Nobody has to deal with the in person sexual jokes or worse, the attempts at sexual extortion and the threats and nastiness that go along with that.

    It’s pretty darn bleak. However, keep the faith because karma has a way of coming around. I’ve had several blessed weeks of working with women only and management has just had an a-ha moment. The women aren’t creating a hostile workplace and they aren’t spending all their paid hours searching for porn. Turns out that supporting the patriarchy really isn’t all that good for business. Maybe next time they’ll hire a 47 yr old woman with two business degrees and 20 yrs experience rather than a couple of 25 yr old guys who need a “self esteem boost” and a “start in life.”

  11. April 19, 2011 11:11 pm

    i fucking hate working with men. HATE! and YES, fucking PANDERING to young doods who wouldnt know thier ass from a hole in the ground, to give them a “start in life” can KISS! MY! FUCKING! ASS!

  12. Mary Sunshine permalink
    April 20, 2011 1:40 am

    FCM, my daughter lost her job as a result of being a whistle-blower. You need to document the reports you have given and received, pass them on all the way up the chain of command to the top. Things have a way of getting “lost”, doncha know. cc and bcc people on everything. Always bcc yourself to an addy that’s not on their servers.

    Hang on for the ride. I’m here for you.

  13. April 20, 2011 4:23 am

    FCM, I would love to see a post of yours on alternative set-ups for women. A friend and I have toyed with an escape plan: we will run away to Europe together and live in a small appartment once the kids have grown.
    She’s joking; I’m not.

  14. jilla permalink
    April 20, 2011 5:34 am

    Unless he was trying to set you up…

    What I love is how stupid they are about the tracks they leave.

    I think of all the times I was sexually harassed in the workplace. Another reason why marriage was an option for women of my generation, and education. And maybe Avon is too.

    Not serious. But yes, seriously.

  15. jilla permalink
    April 20, 2011 6:00 am

    Read the “talk” section of MacKinnon’s WP page. “Bias” about half way down.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Catharine_MacKinnon#Bias

  16. jilla permalink
    April 20, 2011 6:14 am

    More regarding the WP entry for Catherine MacKinnon. The major edits and calls for changes because of her being a “feminazi” and the pages being “biased” in her favour are from a known porn supporter and online harrasser and stalker, Peter Werner aka I AM CURIOUS BLUE, who has harassed Niki Craft, taken out various feminist’s entry pages, written extensive fan WP pages on porn stars. Etc.

    Sorry if this you would consider this a derail. It’s important information about how our icon feminists are being depicted on WP, which newer posters need to be aware of. I don’t know where to put things like this, if not such as, here. Sorry.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Peter_G_Werner
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Iamcuriousblue

  17. FAB Libber permalink
    April 20, 2011 7:09 am

    On the MacKinnon wiki talk page, that dude Werner seems so concerned with S&M and violent porn being more widely available. No guesses as to which side his bread is buttered.

    It is a problem with many wiki pages on feminists but particularly radical feminists, they are either as brief as possible, or dudes like Werner get their way and ensure lots of negative stuff goes on the page.

  18. jilla permalink
    April 20, 2011 9:47 am

    Hi Fab

    I had a third post about who Werner is. Must be in mod.

    Remember Iamcuriousblue?

    It’s him.

  19. April 20, 2011 10:10 am

    if anyone has another source besides wiki, i would be happy to switch it out. i am pretty sure i have read elsewhere about her law school paper etc and the genesis of workplace sexual harassment. i didnt even read the wiki beyond that part of it actually.

  20. April 20, 2011 10:26 am

    i saw that one jilla, but it doesnt say anything about HOW she started the idea of sexual harassment, just that she did. i think people need to know the genesis of her idea. i searched for a few minutes for a link, and found a couple of them, but the wiki entry unfortunately gave the best description of this.

  21. April 20, 2011 10:34 am

    @ cherryblossom

    i did post a full entry on this over at my place, but i dont really SAY what i think women should do exactly. like a bluerpint to HOW to take care of each other, just that we should. any ideas would be welcome, and take it over there if you want. i lived with my best gf for a year or so after my second year of college, and it was *okay* but there was no consciousness about it, it was just the two of us kind of not knowing what else to do and waiting to meet boyfriends. we worked alot and didnt have tons of fun or anything, but we did go out for coffee and talk, write in our journals etc. it was a pretty calm time, no drama that i remember, but i was tortured because i didnt know what to do with my life and i was trying to come up with some great idea. god its pretty ironic now to think that what we were doing WAS the great idea, and we shouldve kept doing it! but you know, it wasnt all up to me anyway. she is married with 4 kids now, and i am pretty sure she wouldnt have wanted that kind of life, and doenst want it now. maybe in the future when husbands are dead etc we will come together again. my sister too. who knows right?

  22. April 20, 2011 10:38 am

    what i am looking for might be in the foreward of “womens lives mens laws” actually? ah books!

  23. FAB Libber permalink
    April 20, 2011 12:30 pm

    (apologies for the derail)
    Thanks Jilla, the ‘concern’ for lack of violent porn being available and ‘I am pervy blue’ all make sense now.

    If you want to talk more, then you can use one of my open threads (public or private).

  24. Loup-loup garou permalink
    April 21, 2011 2:50 pm

    “Always bcc yourself to an addy that’s not on their servers.”

    That, right there, is worth its weight in gold. Thanks.

  25. Princess Rot permalink
    April 22, 2011 10:24 pm

    Maybe next time they’ll hire a 47 yr old woman with two business degrees and 20 yrs experience rather than a couple of 25 yr old guys who need a “self esteem boost” and a “start in life.”

    Wow. Fucking hell, I’m 23 and I wish I could get a decent job based on a perceived “need” on my part.

    Life is too easy for dudes.

    This is why I don’t buy the meritocracy argument, the one that says you can do anything if you work hard and gain worth. Your worth depends heavily on those already in power – you’re trying to break into a system they control. Makes me depressed, working for minimum wage in an unrelated gig while trying to get into programming/concept art. Even the dudes who have poor starts in life and do work hard will still benefit from unseen sexism. His bootstrapping is automatically worthier, but nobody really sees it. Women’s hard work often gets them very little or nothing at all; as FCM says, there’s no getting out of the system. Oh, there are women in PG/CA, but why are they overwhelmingly outnumbered by men…? How many of those few women have to be twice as good and work twice as hard to be seen as merely competant? How much bullshit do they have to let slide in order to preserve their status and sanity – something that would not happen to a comparable man? How many mediocre men get privileged over excellent women, not just in this field, but in every other? How many women are made to feel guilty because it is thought they got their jobs through “affirmative action” like its a bad thing that erases credentials and experience – and that they don’t belong there? How much shit comes do these women get from male-identified women who know subliminally that something is wrong but find it easier to capitulate and shit on others for head-pats than fight? How many are disillusioned because affirmative action is widely disparaged, yet it’s critics likely have their jobs/status because of the unheeded “affirmative action” program – the old boys club and its bedfellows: nepotism and male privilege?

    tl;dr: grr argh

  26. April 22, 2011 10:41 pm

    widely disparaged, yet it’s critics likely have their jobs/status because of the unheeded “affirmative action” program – the old boys club and its bedfellows: nepotism and male privilege?

    WIN!

  27. Sargassosea permalink
    April 23, 2011 6:00 pm

    How many of those few women have to be twice as good and work twice as hard to be seen as merely competant?

    Hi, Princess Rot! I’m glad you brought this up because this is something that my mom (2nd wave) said as a sort of mantra at me like it was a good thing; that I would have the satisfaction of knowing that I was twice as good than the menz.

    So? Where’s the liberation in that?! Self satisfaction doesn’t pay the bills, right? And just why the fuck should I have to work twice as hard when I already know I’m twice as good? That’s just stupid and self/woman-defeating.

    Nice to know that I’m not the only one who didn’t buy into that crap.

  28. Grimm permalink
    May 22, 2011 9:59 pm

    This is why I am so reluctant to get a job. Is there any womyn who enjoys her work environment? The men harass, abuse, ignore, abhor. Then, fifty years down the line, they realize what has happened and lament their wasted life. What shall we do instead? Turn to a life of crime (which sounds really awesome)? AHRRRG! Men are cocksnots.

    Sorry if this is bit as eloquent as some of your other posters. I do hope that little boy gets the punishment he deserves.

  29. May 22, 2011 10:06 pm

    yes, many of us are discussing alternative arrangements, barter economies, and female-only group living for starters. i think its a good idea, but it may be too late for some of us unfortunately, or too late to properly cure the damage already done. not too late to try i guess though, or to attempt some damage control?

  30. October 2, 2011 2:34 am

    I can’t find a job either, and I want to live with only women. I am living with a man now, and I feel like a fucking tool having to be dependent on him for shelter. I have told him that I will NEVER fuck him for shelter, I’d rather live under a bridge. I worked for a sexist asshole for 4 years, busted my ass and was fired for my efforts (under false pretenses, of course).

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